Vlog Post: Perspective

Today's subject Perspective. So why is a Tomato like a transgender person. Well it all comes down to the perspective of the individual, and its the issue of trying to change others perspectives that cause us issue. 

Check out older none video entries of Path at 

http://butterfliespath.blogspot.com/ 

Vlog post: Intro

Path of the Butterflies: a Guide for Transgender individuals, Family, Friends and others 

This video series will discuss issues of being transgender in new ways. We discuss issues such as history, politics, coming out, dealing with troubling issues and more. Future videos this section will contain links to articles that support the subject of the video and helpful links to support. The series is a combination of personal experiences, advice I have discovered and opinions you may not always hear.  

For old none video Path blogs go to http://butterfliespath.blogspot.com/

What is in a Name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet."

Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)

So, yeah as promised, last month this issue is going to be a fairly easy one. This for me is good as I have my hands full with other tasks just check out my personal blog, Brittany’s Desk, for that load. So this month’s issue is going to cover how one goes about a name change, while it may sound as easy as picking a name out of a hat it surprisingly is a bit more difficult than that and can be downright difficult depending on where you live based on the laws at hand.

The process is mostly personal in choosing a name but the steps afterwards will require assistance from medical professions, legal professionals and sometimes in even extreme cases civic intervention. Now this is odd for something that is so common in these days of credit fraud that one can jump from one personality to another. And if you want to have a legal traffic mess trailing behind you then yes it is easy.

The first step is the one that is the most personal. Choosing your new name! Now there are many ways to go about this choice and it varies from person to person. But ultimately it comes down to what name one would prefer to go by in their life. In High school I was a bit of a careless wiseass in my time. I had long learned the trick to schooling was to act stupid on things at the start of the school term and appear progressively to improve over time. Now this only worked in the academic lessons as my low grades in Phys Ed showed when I couldn’t pull off one damn chin up. (Still can’t)No instead I actually spent time in some classes doing the New York Times Crossword. In one such case in my sophomore year of High School I had a History teacher that asked us to write a nickname at the start of the first day of school I wrote the name Don after having just watched Godfather. So for the whole year the teacher struggled with it and I honestly expected not to have to deal with the issue again, till the next semester where I had another class with the same teacher and this time I asked her to refer to me by my given name instead confusing her all the time.  Sadly my mental trick of playing innocently dumb also failed to work on her as it only works once on the same person. But the utter confusion was something that I would find I would want to avoid with my future self. And given with my semipublic nature in college from my convention circuit days and work at trying to be picked up by studios for work, when I came out with the big issue I knew my name had to be not too far from the original one most knew me by.

In my time of choosing a name I have met a few other transitioning people and asked them how they came about their names. Some told me they chose a name out of the blue with names like Cystall, Manajere and such (yeah I may have misspelled their names but hey it was 6+ years ago). Others asked their friends and family for a new name and to my credit I did hold off on suggestions from people but the number 1 choice from them always was Brianna which was a name I despised. Given I knew from a previous discussion in my childhood with my mother though I am sure she long ago had forgotten it that before I came along my parents wanted a daughter and she wanted to call her daughter Samantha. Which in all truth was a name I honestly thought of but since only one letter from my given name of Brian appeared in it and I was known on the net under the handles BTD on my art work and btdod on the net projects, I knew I had to find a B name fitting for me. Given this was a hard one as my top choices of my new name where Lina, Jean, Samantha, Moyria, Faye, Lily, and Ann. None of which were fitting. So while I could have pulled those names which mostly came from popular culture, I had to get more creative. So I gathered a list of my top 25 names for myself that had to have 10 B names and started to weed down every one till I got one that I literally chose from a web comic series (that no longer exists don’t try looking if you don’t recall it or else you more likely will just find me, trust me I tried) In the series the two title characters where mysteriously changed and had to come up with names for their new persona and again the name Brianna was suggested to the character Brian. Luckily it was this comics point that matched my own on the name I didn’t want that turned me onto the name Brittany. (So those that think it came from Britany Spears or Britany S. Peirce [Glee] than think again it’s a far more vague reference.) I chose the name in about a month after coming out to my friends and family and it took almost a year before I officially announced it publicly which ironically was the same time I was stepping away from my public time to focus on my personal life and trying to straighten it out as much as I could cause it was a huge mess back then. So since that Wintery time in 2007 that I started to go by the name Brittany and even after about 5 years down the line started job hunting under my new persona. That being said legally I have done only the very basic thing.

This is where things get more complicated and will require you many hours in lines and phone calls. In getting things legally done, while when I started to transition it was pointed out to me that the legal process of name changing could take several years it came mainly down to personal preference. For many that can’t stand their former title they do need to look forward to hours of work in government institutions that they likely need to hire an attorney to make sure everything gets legally done clean and professionally. But this is more to the case for a complete name change. When this occurs things get legally hairy. You have to legally change records with every government agency and sometimes twice. These things can take years and even still things still will get messed up. Heck I have been on my own for 14 years and it’s taken me 13 for my home cities gas bill to send the bill to Brian and not Bryant. Yeah 13 years for a mistake they made on day one. Given since I only changed my middle and First name the legal issues that I only face are driver’s license, and social security. I did have to clear things up with the IRS when I started searching for work as Brittany but it was a four hour phone call with them to get that straightened out as in their own words. “We identify a person based on their last four digits of social security number and last name.” This indicates no matter what name I went by it was fine with the so long as those two factors would match up. When I do want to proceed on I can simply sign up for a legal name change service that many legal companies offer at low rates (as long as there is no outstanding warrants out there for you). Once legally changed (takes about ½ a year) you then can proceed to government buildings and get things changed. BUT HOLD ON.

In some states including my native Virginia, the law on name changes and what and how you can change your name is different. In my own case I personally want to get my name legally changed before the next year when my driver’s license is due to be renewed. What is odd here is while I can’t change the name right now legally, I can change my gender status provided I have a legal paper they provide on their site and the signature of one friend and a medical professional. So this time next year my license may still say Brian on it but chance are high that it will declare me Female over what sits in my pants. This is due to litigation in government paperwork which is changing pretty much nightly. So unless you are or related to the best lawyer in the world it’s highly likely you may miss a change in the name change legality for transgender people in the world.

So where does this leave us for setting up our name changing process. Well it comes down to stages.

Step 1: Choosing a name you want to answer to.

Step 2: Getting things started by listing all legal paperwork you have that you want or need to change. (Need to change paperwork, Taxes, Social Security, Voting Register, Billing, School Records and Criminal Records if any)

Step 3: Getting legal assistance. (I cannot suggest going on with this alone as it is a difficult thing to wrangle one’s personal paper trail and make sure every paper is filled out perfectly without legal help)

Step 4: Filling forms and Attending Court cases

Step 5: Finishing touches and living your new life.

Homework:

Okay this month’s exercise is up for all to try and its one I personally tried. That is to pick your top 25 names that if you could go by. That you would choose for yourself. Then take those names and share them with friends seeing which ones they think is more fitting of you.  

Next Discussion:

I hope to get things up and going on a web cam by next month to deliver a special report but don’t hold your breath till then next month will cover, the one thing many try to avoid in life. Getting in Shape. That’s right I will be going over transgender physical health and some exercises and tasks to help with transitioning.

IN THE NEWS:
Pentagon OK’s Manning Treatment. 

Okay this somewhat is reflective of last month’s big news in the transgender world but at the same time this one is more controversial. As Private Manning is being held in Military court for his (yes I will use birth ID on a criminal cases folks deal with it or hate me I don’t care.) for being the chief info leaker in the Wikileaks case years ago. Personally I have issues with criminal cases of transitioning that I will make a bigger issue of discussion in a future discussion, but for now here is the laydown from US news.

http://www.usnews.com/news/politics/articles/2014/05/14/pentagon-oks-manning-transfer-for-gender-treatment 

What does it mean to be?

First off let me apologize to the readers for the late post this month I had alternate plans for this months discussion and those plans fell through and now I have been busy playing catch up with this and several other projects for more on that look at my weekly blog Brittany’s Desk.

Okay on to the subject.

The subject this time around is what is medically a Trangender person? How do you, someone you know they are transgender. The issue here I briefly touched on the first post of this blog but I walked around the issue for those truly asking as to how and why someone would identify this way. Before going further I have to do the usual notice. I am NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, I am a writer and artist and am writing this blog through hours to years of research personal experiences and more, do not take my word as such for your own safety. This blog is a tool to aid you in your journey not direct it. Please seek a medical profession for more advice and please do your own research. If you want to discuss the issue at hand you can comment below or email me at brittanydodson@imbriaarts.com, Thank you 

When one looks scientifically at the issue at hand you have to understand that no science is 100% known. To this day science still doesn’t understand many things in our common everyday lives and mysteries of the human body and genetics still tend to puzzle us.  But that being said the study of transgender people as I noted in the second official posting started in the late 19^th century and continues to this day. So the over 100 years of scientific study has resulted in a solid ground work that the issue does exist in a medical term and is not a clear case of mental disease as it was labeled till last year. Now keep in mind other formerly labeled mental diseases where including Seizures, Left Handedness, Homosexuality, and that’s not going over the current issues now involved in trying to diagnose some actual treatable diseases as a mental disorder. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-straw-gold/201212/physical-illnesses-may-soon-be-labeled-mental-disorders  

So often now days even though the issue has been changed of late people still refer to Transgenderism as a mental disorder. Yet science of late has more proven it to be a genetic one. In many cases of transgender study they have discovered chemical makeup and genetic makeup in many cases to result in a sway in our bodies development as we mature. Yet even if a person is genetically the opposite of what they are physically, that does not mean their transgender. So don’t get your self tested and jump straight in to a whole new life.

No, in fact these days we are seeing a flow of transgender cases increase yet many are self-diagnosis cases that don’t truly understand what it means. And often they place themselves on a path they aren’t too clear of what lies ahead of them. Sadly we live in a time of self-prognosis with constant drug ads filling our lives pushing us into thinking we would be better off with the drug for a disease we heard about on tv or in the news. Sadly life can’t not be fixed with a pill, the sooner you learn this the better. True cases of transgender people drum down to these things.

1. How long have you felt this way?
2. Can you see yourself living a normal life without preceding this path?
3. If not how does that make you feel?
4. Are you clinically depressed?
5. Are you suicidal?

These are serious questions you need to focus on. Most clear cases of transgender people are suicidal and have even tried it. Sadly this is the #1 defining issue. But at the same time Suicidal thoughts and tendencies is not the solid case for being transgender. No that is where questions 1-3 come into play. Transgender individuals, true cases involve a long history of this issue weighing on their lives. While there are several cases of children identifying as trans, the issue isn’t easy to lock in on a child till years of maturity hit them. Often to see how things go some doctors will offer blockers to keep the child from going through puberty while they are conflicted in their thoughts.

 Mind you this is a highly risky venture and should be well understood as the medications of blockers (mainly the #1 perscribed spironolactone for Transwomen) is a “high” dosage prostate cancer fighting medication. That is known to cause many things including many effects similar to a heart attack and kidney disease thus has to be treated under a doctor’s care.  Placing the strain of this on a developing child’s body could have stronger effects of harm and may cause physical issues down the line. That is not including the side effects of Testosterone on Transmen at a young age. As a medically induced steroid it’s very easy to show the side effects of that medication taken out of supervision without having to look at transgender cases.

When one is properly diagnosis its best they work on keeping their body in good shape to lower the risks of the medications side effects when they eventually get on it. It’s not an easy task. It’s a long and painful road to go through being trans the pain is mental, physical and even social. Every now and then you hear of a case of an Ex trans person appear. These case usually can be classified in several ways.  

1.      Going with the in crowd

2.       Seeking a new sexual high

3.       Past scars

4.       Creating a spotlight

5.       Genuine self-doubt

6.       Mentally poisoning

Let me explain each of these. The first is the most common on found today. Transgender is becoming the social in thing right now. A way to rebel against one’s life ending up not down a path one hopes for and a way some see as a way out is by building a crutch for their pain. This is nothing new in many cases of the past the idea of doing something society sees as shocking to stand out when you refuse to fit in is all too clear of each and every generation of person. Sadly this group however moves to take risky behavior to resolve these feelings and seek things like back alley drugs to help transition causing them possible medical issues and higher risk behavior for other things Such as sexual disease harder drugs and worse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw3K2L5XrW4 A former trans-person that turned back with a warning for the “In crowd” Type

Second is the oldest case of false identifiers for transgender. People who for some reason or another that found themselves ether wanting to go down this path because they wanted a sexual high or had issues sexually and felt it was a better way to go on enjoying sex.

Third is the harder to deal with issue. Sadly it comes down to trying to deal with past sexual abuse and accepting the pain of the abuse as a reason to transition to make one feel better for the reasons why they were abused. In my discussions and meetings with many people in my life I personally can say one in 10 cases of transgender identifying people I have come across claim that the reason they transition is due to former sexual abuse they underwent as a child.

Forth is a rare case but not unheard of in this day and age. The idea that somehow becoming transgender will lead you down a life of luxury and fandom, there is little I can say other than anyone who seeks to change their genders for fame, needs to get their head examined thoroughly. Going through this life is not a whim spur of the moment thing and the further you go down the road the more it costs and the more isolation you will experience. While there are some that have become famous being trans the numbers are so low its below 1% of the transgender population vs the 5+ % in normal society.

Fifth is a serious case. Sometimes people do change and they may genuinely think one thing of them in their lives for years and be actually convincing of it but then something in their life changes and they begin to doubt their decisions.

Finally is the Mental poisoning. This is by far the most dangerous type. The quote cured transgender people through ether “faith” based programs or others like it. These programs often try to convince the person they are wrong and often do more psychological damage to the person in horrible ways. Note I am not saying faith is the problem in fact in some cases people who turn to faith may in fact find clear answers to their doubt but there are dangers in these groups.

Here is a interview with famed British Actor Stephen Fry and an ex-gay therapist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnBBqYFGKB8

The ways to understand things comes down to long sessions (often years of such) of therapy from a professional. Personally I spent 4 years in therapy alone on the course before I got the green light to seek the medical end of things. While often most cases should take less. (Mine took more because I kept getting pushed on the fresh out of college interns as a case study) In general at least a year of therapy is not unheard of. As transgender cases often tend to have compacting social and mental issues around them. Issues like Agoraphobia and anxiety disorder can arise and also need to be dealt with to help live a semi normal life. So to go through this process a few years ago I devised a list of questions for therapy that need to be asked in the cases of being transgender.

The issues one must ask both themselves and a medical help professional and likewise questions they should ask you  (The questions for the therapist to ask in red the ones for you to ask your therapist in blue)

What is your first memory of what gender means?

Does stating this mean I’m prone to mental disorders and possible clinically insane?

If you knew you never could get surgery, how would that make you feel?

What should my first steps be?

If you knew you never could get medicine to alter the body, trapping you in the form you have now, how would you feel?

What are the risks I can look towards if I start (medication, surgery)?

How do you think you would act if someone discriminated you for who you where?

I came out to my (Family, Friends, Lover, Children), yet they are having trouble with my decision, is there a way you or someone you know can help us work through this together?

How do you think you would act if someone threatened violence for who you where?

I want to come out to my (Family, Friends, Lover, Children) how do I best go about doing this?

How would you act if an act of violence is being directed at you? What steps would you take to prevent it? 

Is it normal to have these feelings?

What does it mean to be your chosen gender?

Do you have knowledge of where I could seek medical help on this issue? And if so would you be willing to offer your approval for me to seek it out?

Have you tried disguising this with your friends or family?

Do you have former knowledge or experience in dealing with this issue?

If someone close to you doesn’t accept it, how would it make you feel?

How long will I have to be treated for this issue in my life?

What would you tell a person who chooses not to accept you? How would you react if things worsen after your first action?

Do you find that I have other issues as well not tied to this or do you think that this issue will help deal with all my issues?

Are you prepared to face the aftermath that this issue will bring in your (Family, Freind, Work, Social) environment?

Am I too (old, young, Masculine, Feminine) to go through with this?

Did you face bullying and/or name calling that fits derogatory terms towards being transgender as a child?

I’m worried that if I come out at work I’ll be (discriminated, fired, assaulted) is this a logical fear?

Did you try to hide this from yourself? If so, how long, and why?

If I go through with this and find its not who I am was it all just a mistake?

Are there parts of you, that you think will prevent you from passing as the other gender?

Will I learn to love myself if I (Go through with it, don’t go through with it)?

How does this affect your love life?

Do I have a hope for finding love if I go through with this?

Are you aware of the risks of (Hormones, Surgery) if you chose to go through with this?

 How much is all this going to cost me if I proceed?

Will this truly make you feel better about yourself?

Is there hope for me going down this path at feeling better for myself?

But therapy is only one step. Mostly it comes down to self-identification or 1 on the lists of questions that a professional will ask you when you discuss this issue.

Ultimately one needs to come from this blog post to understand that going down this life is ultimately your choice but it’s not going to be an easy path for you down the line. You’re going to be painting a target on your back when you go down this path facing a life of persecution and rejection for just being who you are. Don’t believe me check out the part of this 20/20 interview with young 11 year old transgender Jazz and the confrontation she gets in her life.  

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/video/transgender-11-listening-jazz-18260857

Personal Note:

In my personal account of the very issue I will be brief and direct you to read my post in chapters 2 &7 of the old Path site http://www.imbriaarts.com/path/

But I will share a story I didn’t share before. One that even my family didn’t know and maybe still don’t. Back when I left college and got out of my parents’ home to live on my own I start to explore the side of me that I had no clear idea about I hadn’t studied it nor have I focused on it. In fact I failed the college sex ed course I took that only spent ½ a day on it as a subject and the book which I ironically still own. Barely touches on the subject at all. Yet I was hiding myself from the world at the time. (this part many of you that have followed me all this time and family know) What they don’t know is the self-mutilation I did. I was greatly depressed about the issue and badly wanted a part of me gone so often on long lonely days I would go to my kitchen and pick up a knife and cut the skin along the legs towards my private area. I never went too deep knowing enough about human anatomy that cutting the femoral artery would likely mean certain death. But I have cut enough to leave marks across the inner portions of my thighs that don’t heal right and sometimes in the heat of sweaty summer will tear open just enough due to the low amount of skin built around it that they slowly bleed. Thankfully I stopped listening to the depression in my life and listened to reason and hope to find a safer and open way of changing my life. But it would still take me 7 years and several suicide attempts and threats to reach the point of help and courage to come forth on who I am.  Since then I have become a changed person. While depression still hits my life it’s never gets so low as to bring harm to myself in any way. I have learned more about myself opened up more to the world and become a better person through being the person I see myself as. Now with the blessing of medical professional at my side I am able to show more of that side of me to the world. To become a better me on both the outside and inside and to live a life I want to live.

So what is the medical meaning of being transgender?

It’s the goal of giving yourself a strong footing on the road to finding yourself no matter how you see yourself for a sense of mental security and peace of mind. It is a genetic or chemical imbalance in the body of the person across their physical identity from their spiritual, mental and emotional identity.

Article resources:

http://www.pfc.org.uk/node/614 - Medical Study Jan. 1996 U.K.  -  Based on the basic general study of transgender in medical terms

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=how-boys-become-boys-and - How Boys become Boys and sometimes Girls (Scientific American May 2008)

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=going-beyond-x-and-y - Going Beyond X and Y (Scientific American June 2007)

http://isites.harvard.edu/icb/icb.do?keyword=k78405&pageid=icb.page414493 – Harvard Study on identification of transgenders

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/publications-a-z/731-i-think-i-might-be-transgender-now-what-do-i-do - actual Q&A by medical professional on the subject.

HOMEWORK:

So how did you do with last month’s homework? Yeah well some share with me in email brittanydodson@imbriaarts.com others just read the blog and move on. This week the assignment is an old one I learned and I want to have others do more often.

You do a chart for both living your life as is and one for changing your life that way you want it to be. You give yourself 20 minutes to do this no more, no less in the end count them and see where you stand.

Next Month’s subject:

Names What are they good for?

I will be discussing both choosing a new name and how naming yourself comes about and how to legally do it.

Trans in the News:

Speaking of Names the big issue going on right now in the transworld this month is…

India Recognizes Transgenders

You would think of all the nations in the world that in the past where not very trans friendly many would pass on India. You know the country where many of its people worship a transgender goddess. But hey they do or did up until recently where it is now a recognized group in the country yeah India

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-27031180

Stepping up to the plate

This month’s issue I want to focus on how the Trans movement needs to find more of a face in its involvement. This is a huge issue of the coming months and years but when it comes to stepping up we tend to shoot ourselves in the foot instead.

Let’s touch on a few issues brought up in the special report I did two months ago as well as an update.

The issue discussed in the special was based on the concept that Hollywood would hire no Transgender actors/actresses to play transgender roles. The reason for the action was based on Jarred Leto’s character in Dallas Buyers club (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvMPU0WaPcc ) where last month he was awarded an Oscar for his role in the film. In the film he portrayed a fictional (yes the character was completely fictional) and poorly stereotyped trans-woman. Many LGBT sites and groups called out claiming that this portrayal of Transgender people in film was akin to Black face actors and actresses of early film or the quote Mammy-ification of the roles (noted as such for the portrayal of Mammy in Gone with the Wind http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FZ7r2OVu1ss ). In many ways the trans movement is further then the issues that plagued the African American lives throughout the past, but at the same time issues such as trans violence, unemployment and even housing issues are very similar if not worse in percentages based on population then it was for just African Americans from the 1870’s to 1970’s. The problem here can be led to one issue in general. While there are many trans-people coming to the public view. There are a very small amount of Trans-people that are taking a positive stand.

Let us look at one of the more visible voices that is not a person of film/reality show and TV fame. Janet Mock (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u1NR8rHlvXA )( http://janetmock.com/)  Janet is a transgender activist and a skilled journalist and  writer. A positive role model of the trans movement whether you agree with her opinions and politics or not Janet always is holding a strong role for the trans community to step out and present itself in the public light. She is in many ways a strong image for the trans movement, but is she a leader of the trans movement.

Well to answer this let’s look at what other civil rights leaders had dealt with in the past and see what it takes to become a leader.

The first civil rights movement of all time was long before America was even discovered. To look at this movement it’s a good idea to look at the records of both Egyptian and the biblical record at the first movement being the Exodus of Moses and the Jews from Egypt’s control (though widely still debated on the authenticity of such a story). While we don’t know about Moses’s death we do know about his life and the fact that he was (even if you don’t believe the religious mysticism end) able to free the Jewish slaves from the current Pharaoh (The pharaoh was yet to be named outside of Hollywood)  at the time of the land. Much of his actions to achieve these goals where done through actions of prophecy and mysticism. That was able to frighten a heavily religious sect of people like the Pharaoh and his followers would be.  Thus Moses won freedom by playing into the fears and hearts of the people at the time.

Malcolm X's style of activism was a fiery and forceful one built on fear and aggression

Martian Luther King's way of Activism was the peaceful Christ like style to gain followers.

More recently you have figures like Gandhi, Martian Luther King, Malcolm X, Susan B. Anthony and Harvey Milk. Each in their actions of becoming a face for their movement would choose ways to lead their movement against those that oppressed them.

Let’s look at the vastly different ways two members of the African American movement of the 1960’s and  1970’s played out with Malcolm X and Martian Luther King. Malcolm X, tried intimidation and fear much in the same ways the Moses brought fear into the Egyptian leaders for their freedom. While Martian Luther King did a completely different way of standing up, by taking the more Jesus Christ method of standing up for what was right but be willing to be punished under the law of the land to help change hearts and minds. In many ways both where successful, but it was Martian Luther King’s, actions that truly helped the cause greater. Why?

This is because instead of causing the world to fear the black man, he showed that we are no different from one another and must stand next to each other work alongside each other and helping each other as we go. When you look at the movements King lead verses the ones Malcolm X led you see a clear difference in who is listening to the words of the man at the front. Malcolm X had a more radicalized almost all black male following. While King had a more diverse following which brought in scores of numbers to his side of Black, White rich and poor, male and female. Both men preached God’s word in their movement but only one lived by God’s word and with it he found a way to win over the hearts and minds of people in a greater way.

So how does this fit with Janet Mock. Well in Janet’s case so far she is proving to carry a mostly positive attitude towards her few public appearances.   Being a general likable personality, however she does at times come off a bit militant about people needing to accept the concept of transgender people in society. But in many ways this is the key issue of people who take on the title of activist’s. Most activist people take on a far more aggressive role like that of Malcolm X and Moses. Less the peaceful Jesus Christ like role such as Gandhi and King.  Thus we make the road to acceptance a bit harder and longer than one would like to see. When one sows the seed of equal rights we need to understand its better to till the soil first with building a stronger relationship with our communities and neighbors before we expect to harvest the rewards of our work in acceptance and tolerance. Activism is more a like breaking down the door to the grocery store to get the same fruits while upsetting the roles of others that had worked so long to receive them in their own lives.

This is seen no greater than in the numbers of transgender people in and around the African American community. These numbers (http://transequality.org/PDFs/BlackTransFactsheetFINAL_090811.pdf ) such as the discrimination poor, education, and absolutely horrid employment and housing numbers for the Trans African American group, you have 15% employment and nearly ½ of them cannot even read. Mainly due to poor upbringing and constant discrimination within their own race as the most advent and anti-trans people aren’t as the media would like to hold the Southern white redneck, but instead is the African American community that has fallen into a system of self-decay in many parts of the country.  Given the African American community isn’t the only group that does harm to transgender people. No you have many groups including Westboro Baptist [warning this video is part of their hate, but its important you know what real hate looks like. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qI2PL1pMDcg  ](not a real church just a family of lawyers looking to get rich on the law suits when they get attacked by the provocation they create.) which just recently lost its leader Fred Phelps this past week, that also takes an activist role against transgender people along with pretty much everyone else.

So what do we need to do to stand up and gain the rights we need. Well for this we need to start looking to both be activists in our personal lives but at the same time take a more peaceful route with our activist ways. Getting transgender people into more civic minded roles of charity, support and assistant areas of the world will help win over the minds of people that are suffering. Finding ways to stand with someone and not against someone is the role we need to take. And its  finding someone to stand in both those fields that will cause a true positive leadership role in down the line for transgender people to become more accepted into the
community at large.

On a Personal Note:

Two years ago I promoted an idea at an anti-trans violence meeting held locally in my hometown of Richmond Va. While many there wanted to point out the issue at hand few offered reasons to bring a halt to trans-violence without finding a way to lift up the community from its problems of unemployment, education and housing issues. These are the real problem we face down the line. It doesn’t matter how many gender neutral bathrooms, or how often you get treated by having someone address you by the right gender if you cannot meet the basic needs of yourself in the world on fair ground as the next person. And while many would jump and state it’s an issue of discrimination, I would point out that it’s more an issue within the problem itself “education”. It’s far too easy to meet people uninformed on what and how much understanding on what transgender people go through without people learning about the issues a transgender person really faces.  No I am not suggesting that schools start teaching about transgender people in a course for grade K-12 (although having Transgender studies in college may help). But having times where one can offer true awareness of what it means to be trans other than the white wash term of “They are a man trapped in the body of a woman” or vice versa.   We need to explain that the mental state of trans people is strongest and most secure when they become both excepting of themselves in the forms they see fit and the way others can see them as such as well. The issue of Transgenderism while isn’t a mental disease as it was previously label for so long (along with being Gay, Autistic, Physically handicapped, and epileptic all where at one time declared a mental disease) but it is a social one. Take this as an example. If we had no concept of difference in the world would we truly be accepting of all? Or would we have an issue like Butch Hartman wrote in his cartoon series Fairly Odd Parents episode  “The Same Game” (https://archive.org/details/TheFairlyOddparents-TheSameGame) where the world is change to make everyone the same yet they still hold discrimination in the world despite the fact that everyone is the same.  Personally I feel we need to be open to all even those that disrespect and demean us. We need to be willing to show them the error in their ways but becoming a better person in their eyes and not forcing them to make such decisions on their beliefs without them coming to the decision on their own. We need to take the same path of Dr. Martian Luther King and be a passive activist not an aggressive one and soon one person will stand out as the voice of civility for our kind.

This month’s homework:

Become active in helping out your community and neighbors in some way. If you’re a transgender person or not the act of charity starts at home with helping your friends, neighbors and community out but taking action through acts of good. This doesn’t mean you have to spend your money or dedicate your life to a project. It just mean lending hand and helping out on things when others need you to. The more you help people the more you win them over to accepting you into their society so help out. And in turn when you’re in need you may just find others willing to help you out in turn.   

As always I want to thank you all for reading the blog, feel free to share your opinions, views and comments below or if you wish to do so privately then you can email me at brittanydodson@imbriaarts.com.

Next Month’s Topic:

Well for the last few posts I have discussed the topic about issues that face transgender people but next month I will discuss what a trans-person goes through and how medicine is supposed to look at transgender people to diagnose them as such.

Trans in the News:

http://nation.foxnews.com/2014/03/15/lgbt-group-obama-sign-executive-order-opening-military-transgenders

This week an issue has become that president Obama is going to allow Transgender people into the military. In many ways trans-people have served in the past but the issue was and currently still is that once their transgender nature comes to light they are discharged from the service. Even after the lift of “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell” which was put into place by the Clinton administration after cases such as Barry Winchell’s murder in 1998 where the man was brutally beaten to death by his fellow soldiers after his relation with transgender performer, Calpernia Adams, became known. It is important to note that in that case Calpernia, herself was a discharged former member of the navy.  You can read more about this in my earlier Paths guide chapter 6. http://www.imbriaarts.com/path/chapter6.pdf

History of Transgender

Ask most people that know what it means to be transgender (small number sadly) when the first cases appeared most will answer 1952 with Christen Jorgenson!

(even GLADD  puts it this way and they are wrong)  

http://www.glaad.org/blog/timeline-look-back-history-transgender-visibility 

And they would greatly be Wrong. Heck not even close to the date and the first cases. So this month’s issue on hand I will be discussing several of the lost moments in history and even introduce you to a subject that had been part of the world since the invention of writing.  

When we look at this issue I do want to state one thing while some on this list will be simply transvestites (otherwise known as cross dressers) Others are in fact Trangender we know this by not only how they acted but thru their actions in history. This is a new subject for this blog even though I had been studying this for well 3 three years now I may still be a bit off on my research but please bear with me on this one.

The first recorded Trans person!

Hatshepsut The female emperor of Egypt - 1479 -1458 BC

Okay one may state I am stretching on this but not really it is down to the wording that Hatshepsut refused the title of Empress for the term Emperor instead. Upon her accenting to the royal throne she dawn a false beard and male clothing. Her reign is mostly wiped from history because her son ordered the destruction of her image when he rose to power. Despite the fact that she was in many ways the only pharaoh to accomplish and see thru her projects in her lifetime as ruler. It’s not fully known on how she was treated in court but for a woman to even seat on the royal throne at these times was unheard of and she stands as one of Egypt’s strongest rulers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hatshepsut

The Man-woman of Emperor of Rome

Emperor Elgabalus - 203 – 222 AD

I use the term Man-woman as it’s a medical term that Romans first discovered some point between the 6^th and 1^st century BC, and several years after they found the basis of trans-genderism in their medical studies a transgender emperor rose to power. Now Elgabalus was not a great emperor, just the opposite in fact many place him in second worst behind Caligula. And the fact that the only really thing of note about him was the way he presented himself in female clothing and acting female in many cases committing perverted acts and prostitution, he even offered a reward for the doctor willing to perform early days sex change surgery at a time when the first plastic surgeries where a death sentence for those that underwent them from the diseases and complications that the surgery would cause. The reward was never claimed. It is important to note that the court was use to Eldabalus actions after Nero took a Eunuch named Sporus as a wife and was displayed in the royal garb of an empress in 60 AD.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Elagabalus

The Big Apple’s Big Secret, That No one Wanted

This is said to be a picture of him but is likely his wife

Edward Hyde - 1661 – 1723

In many ways Edward was the worst Governor ever placed in office while England ruled over the colonies. A lord through birthright Edward, was not well liked and massively corrupt  but still he sat in as one of New York and New Jersey’s first governor s.  Robbing the colonies treasury and harassing the public as he dawned woman’s clothing and acted as an outright public menace. He was removed from office after creating so much a stink with the public that the revolution may have occurred years earlier if he hadn’t been removed.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_Hyde,_3rd_Earl_of_Clarendon

 The First to stand up as Trans

Charlotte Clark - 1755

She is the one in Pink

The first recorded Transgender and lesbian person as when the book “A Narrative of the life of Mrs. Charlotte Clark” An autobiography told the story of the cross dressing actress during a time that even the concept of women being on stage was unheard of. She spoke of her relationship with a woman only known as Ms. Brown and sadly while the publication brought her fame in her lifetime she died penniless and destitute. Sadly not much is known of this early figure in history and even rarer is it likely to find a copy of her autobiography but luckily we now have the internet and Wikipedia has a nice entry on her life and writings

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlotte_Charke

World’s Greatest Spy

D’eon De Beaumont - 1777

Now we really have a pivotal figure that far too often is ignored in history. Now I could have placed the first strong case as Joan of Arc she wasn’t hiding her gender for anything more then to join the battle. Instead we have someone living both genders and even persecuted for it.  D’eon is known as one of the greatest spies not just in his time but ever. Here is a list of just some of his known accomplishments covers and encounters.

even in that dress D'eon could kick major butt

Skilled Dragoon of French royal court (Royal knight)

Lady in waiting to Catharine the Great (Yes the Russian queen famous for rumors her equestrian encounters)

Friend of Queen Charlotte (wife of George the 3^rd aka Mad King George)

One of the greatest swords man in France at the time

Rumored friend/chess player and supporter of Benjamin Franklin

D’eon in his efforts as a spy used a genetic disorder (Klinefelter’s Syndrome) to his advantage and dawn the disguise as Lady Lea De Beaumont. Despite the skill and continued loyalty to the crown King Louis the 16^th upon gaining the throne from his father Louis the 15^th, forced D’eon to dress and act as a lady in court because of the treatment of ladies versus lords when it came time for the American revolution D’eon wanted to go forth and honor France and fight on the side of the Americans only the King felt it was an insult to have a woman represent France and had D’eon exiled to of all places England for even daring to help. D’eon spent his last days in England as an ambassador and friend of the royal court. 

Despite the added zombies it is an awesome anime and one of my favorites of all time its both very artistic and intense drama. Check it out its on Netflix or buy the series now from Funimation

Now it is important to note not all history has washed D’eon away as in 2006 a manga and anime series was made loosely based on his life (very loosely but it’s really good as a supernatural horror)  

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chevalier_d%27Eon

And then there was the word

Karl Friedrich Otto Westphal - 1869

The term Transexualism is officially coined by Karl in his medical paper where he simply diagnosed the symptoms of men wanting to be women; it is his paper that would be the earliest medical study on the issue. More words would come such as 1910 Marcus Hirschfield coining the term “Transvestite” while he and Harry Benjamin where researching since 1907. The first use of the word “Faggot” appearing in a Portland Oregon dictionary in 1914 putting all LBGT issues under its terminology

Doctor of Sex

Marcus Hirschfeild - 1919

After almost 20 years of his course of study the subject Marcus opened the Institute for Sexology, in Berlin. In it he worked to study transsexuals in particular to further his research. In one case of study a successful transplant of sexual organs occurred (yeah I bet you think it never could happen) sadly while the surgery was considered a success the patient died of internal bleeding the day after, the process to medical knowledge has never been tried again. The first successful surgeries afterwards as we now know them started the next year.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Institut_f%C3%BCr_Sexualwissenschaft

Literature gets twisted  

Virginia Woolf Writes “Orlando” - 1928

Famed female writer tells her tale of a man that refuses to grow old and one day awakens to having changed genders then goes on living as a woman. Keep in mind this was written at the High point of Victorian living where the idea of any sexual behavior is considered wrong and yet here was a book purposing the twisted concepts of sexual escapades of both man in woman in one character.

First Child Treatment

Harry Benjamin -1948

Harry who co-founded of the study of Transexualism was introduced to a young boy that wanted to transition. The practice up until then had been strictly done with adults but after study of the boy Harry started the treatments on the boy in San Francisco (4 years before Christen Jorgenson became the face of transsexuals) This caused Benjamin to open the first clinic for Transgender patients in the US.

Give Him Meat and two Veg

Matt Dillon – 1949

The first recorded Female to Male transition occurs, transitioning Matt in London England. It took him 13 surgeries to get the completion he so wanted to live out his time as a man.

A Star Rises

Christen Jorgenson -1952

While the practice was becoming a common thing for treatment up until Christen it hasn’t really been a public issue. When the New York Daily News made world news with the transition of the former soldier and photographer showed the world sometime that sexy blond bomb shell may have been playing on a different team in childhood.  While this Wikipedia article is somewhat good about the story I strongly suggest a surprising film of its time The Christen Jorgenson Story 1970.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christine_Jorgensen

http://youtu.be/8FlPfahyRV0

The Worst Director, Shows the world

Ed Wood Jr., releases Glen or Glenda   - 1953

Sadly despite being labeled the worst director of all time this really is a good film and very sincere all be it still with its issues as Ed Wood tried to give a face on the issue that he himself was dealing with. Given the later Tim Burton film on Ed Wood would ignore Glen or Glenda but still touched on Ed’s love for dressing. Ed Wood never stated on if it was inspired by Christen Jorgenson or not but it’s believed it was his reasoning for making the film. Much of Ed’s usual actors where in this film including Horror Film Legend Bella Lugosi giving an odd moment in the film where he makes the whole process seem dark.

Watch the whole film on Youtube

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9CVVmQRy4lE

The Rocket is complete

Dr. Judy T Wu – 1958

Dr Wu creates the first complete Phalloplasty surgery changing the way the surgery for FtM patients were going through.   Oddly enough I really want to emphases the location this occurred was Bratsk, Russia. Yeah the same place that lately has gone anti LGBT severally is the home of one of the modern procedures in transgender surgery. It was Wu that devised a way for the new member to stand erect as well.

I could go on from here but then the History from 1960 to modern times is well covered and described in many other sources including GLADD and other places. I do want to note though a few rumors and issues not confined to History

To defend and Honor (All Known Wars before 1950’s)

While there are many cases including my choice to ignore Joan of Arc, we should not ignore the fact that many women served in wars worldwide even to the point of arrest, execution (in Joan’s Case) and exile should they be found out.  They would dawn disguises and false names till they were found out in battle, such figures like Deborah Sampson in the Revolution or Sarah Rosetta Wakeman/ Private Lyons Wakeman.  They were the first women to serve this nation with honors and integrity yet far too often are ignored by history books. While most did it for the cause, others saw it as a chance of equal rights and a few cases it is assumed that they may have seen themselves as men. It is not recorded how many women dawned pants and fought in war some may never have even gone noticed at all, but all are due their respect for their role in history.

Outlaw is Out the closet?

One of the strangest rumors out there is that Billy the Kid (Yes the Billy the Kid) was in fact transgender. In fact there is claimed a rumored image of Billy in drag. Sadly the only real reference to this was an episode of Discovery’s Wild West Tech. It is believe to be nothing more than an attempt to drum up interest in the show.

FBI goes deep under cover?

The Infamous case of J Edgar Hoover is… well completely made up. The issue that Hoover wore women’s clothing and was gay was a rumor started by criminals and the mob in an effort to get Hoover ousted from office. Why? Well how about the fact that the director was biting down hard on the criminal activities of the group. Thus the rumor mill was spilled that J Edgar wore Mrs. Hooves Finest.

Stonewalled

Okay this is the last historical issue I will bring up in this post. The moment Gay rights became an issue was Stonewall riots. And the spark that lit that fuse was the arrest of transgender individuals. Every point of the GLBT civil rights began with transgender people and I bring this up as it’s become somewhat an ignored issue of the last few years that the GLB have gained rights that the T still face prosecution about things like finding work and places to live still are issues for the trans community that the LGB end rarely if ever face. In many ways I see it as a disgrace to have the LGB culture to run to the front of the line and step over the equal rights of the people that helped give them a voice in gaining their own rights. But then we are starting to see a change in these rules and laws as we grow and soon I truly hope that we can say Justice is blind and 

ALL are treated equally.

Additional Supporting links on this subject

http://www.albertatrans.org/history

http://www.bilerico.com/2008/02/transgender_history_trans_expression_in.php

Thank you for sitting down to this massive chunk of trans history. If I missed something or you want to share something then leave a comment, if you don’t feel like making it public email me at brittanydodson@imbriaarts.com. This is intended as a public discussion not just a blog. I would like to thank all that have sent me messages of support for both your families and myself in this discussion. I am sorry I try to respond to all but sometimes I just feel there is little more I can add to your heart felt letters then a loving Thank you.

Next Month’s Subject: 

 Who will Stand Above!

 We look at Trans voices and see if we can find strong voices as well as discuss issues about civil rights and discrimination (using both sides of the arguments) expect it to get heated on this one.

Suggested Homework:

Okay I didn’t do this the first time on the new blog or in the special after but the original path offered tasks and projects people can do with each lesson so I am going to try to have such tasks again from now on. I will go into more when I get to truly discussing the process of transitioning but for now here is this month’s discussions homework.

Read History books and go to history museums- Yeah I am copping out but seriously when we have a recent study say 1 in 4 Americans think the sun revolves around the earth this is an important homework, the subject doesn’t have to be about trans characters but it can be. There are many I know I left out of discussion for frankly space. I personally live in a part of the US where you can’t spit and not hit some place of historic importance of this county (I live in Richmond VA USA) Learn your own history of your family or just catch up on historical people who changed the world

Trans in the News Issue:

Facebook adds new classification of genders for members to choose from.

Now damned if you do damned if you don’t, it’s a mixed bag. I know many trans people that aren’t changing their status for the fear of repercussions of labeling themselves on Facebook. Me personally I don’t care. I changed my status last week from female (what I had it as before) to Trans female. I do not fear the world being open about myself and even apply as such and am open about it when I talk with others. It’s all about personal choice but just to be fair about the issue here is an article about a comedians report on the matter. (And for those that take Colbert as a reporter I feel sorry for you. He is a comedian not a reporter. Don’t ever take him or John Stewart as actual news authorities on any subject they are there to make you laugh at subjects don’t take them seriously ever.)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/02/19/colbert-media-transphobia_n_4815940.html?utm_hp_ref=transgender

Path Special: Why cant Hollywood hire trans actors?

Okay from time to time when I feel its appropriate to address an issue I will be adding special reports and opinion based pieces. This is not February’s discussion but a discussion on an important issue none the less. So onto the subject at hand.

While sitting back and doing some research as my laundry was running in the background I came across this news article from the UK.

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/films/features/jared-leto-in-dallas-buyers-club-why-cant-we-cast-trans-people-in-trans-roles-9099704.html

Basically the article asks the question why Hollywood doesn’t hire trans actors for trans roles. For this I have a few things to say that doesn’t quite fit in the comments box so I am bringing the discussion over here.

When one looks at the collection of trans characters in film we often see one of two ways Hollywood attacks them. Ether you have a male actor play out the role with latex and padding to play the role in a dress (or binding of female actors in the case of trans men) to present a buyable transformation or they go with a female actor playing a trans woman, or a male actor playing a trans man. There are many reasons for and even a few that people don’t look at when discussing this issue.  But the idea that trans actors don’t play trans characters isn’t true. Given its rare in its occurrence Candis Cayne being probably the best to fit this role in a serious tone. While there are several Trans people in Hollywood she is likely the only solid actress / actor that has come out as trans that has had somewhat steady work and played roles like her roles in the tv show Dirty Sexy Money as a trans character.

Candis Cayne

When we seriously look at the issue the main problem is the numbers. If you take 1000 people and claim that within that collection that 10% will become actors dropping the choice to 100 people then out of that 10% of them would likely be successful giving us now 10 people the chances of those 10 people being just gay is 1/10 being trans is 1/30 so the chance is such a smaller fragment. Of having a successful trans actor/ actress is small (note I will not declare reality tv stars as actors as they are not. They are just people wanting to become famous by exposing their lives in form of humiliation.) So given our small fraction we need to add in the factor that people just aren’t discovered that easily and revered for their work. In a world where there are over 3000 television channels on our cable boxes and with it a dwindling fan based of television in general with the continued decreasing numbers of viewers that rather would watch stuff through online content and at their own time, along with it dwindling box office numbers creates a need for stability in Hollywood to look at talent that they know is solid over talent that they question or risk with. Meaning the chance of roles are so rare for trans actors to break through it’s not likely to change in the current path of Hollywood.

Lana Wachowski

Chaz Bono

Alexis Arquette

Now we need to look at the issue in another way. The question really should be reworded. Why do we not have a good example of a transgender person in general.  There are few well know trans gender people that tv and new sources run to when dealing with trans people. Often these days the face has been put on people such as Chaz Bono (the child of Sonny Bono and Cher) and Alexis Arquette (the true black sheep of the Arquette family, bet you thought it was David) , Lana Wachowski (of the Wachowski Brothers [oddly still called that]). These people are held up as the main stream of trans genders but I have to say what have these and others really done to help push transgender people into being successful in the world. Well since coming out Chaz has been a reality Tv star mainly cause of the transition (yet his call to fame is that he is transgender) Has he done much to help others out and lift others up. Nope not really. Alexis is pretty much the same but has mainly gotten her stardom through the fame of her family and played in small roles since. The last Lana is and while she was a big director before the transition (Director/creator of the Matrix series) she hasn’t found much success in her films since her coming out. She carries on her life much in the same way as before. 

 

So what we need to more focus on is who in the trans community is willing to do more for the cause then themselves.   Where is the trans gender Gandhi , Martian Luther King or Harvey Milk. No I am not asking that we search for a martyr but what we need is an example of a person that gains respect and admiration of the public while standing for the rights and supporting the lives of transgender people. In many ways we blind ourselves in thinking that Hollywood is the place to provide this answer in our world. But in fact really it shouldn’t. In many ways earlier years of trans characters and actors in some ways hurt the transgender cause. While I am a fan of, Dr. Frankenfurter from Rocky Horror, or the actor Divine’s work in John Waters films its these images along with images of Ed Woods Glenn or Glennda that manipulate the public view of transgender people. We distort the public mind set and hurt the cause in many ways with these great moments.  In many ways we need to repair the image that Hollywood helped destroy a few years ago. This repair will take time and in the mean time we need to find and hold up those that are trans that do positive things in the world not just for other trans people, not just for themselves but for the world in whole. It’s a concept that I try to carry in my own life to be a better person not for just myself but how the image I leave behind of myself be it world changing or just change a few people down the line that makes a difference not 

because I need to but because I want to.

We shouldn’t look at fame as a reason to like people cause generally with fame come ego. What we need is fame built on Humility.

Welcome to the new Path

Welcome to the new Path.

Weather you came across this blog from our old site listing or are new I wish to great you all and ask you to step in and share your stories opinions and thoughts on each new subject of each post.

 Each post will be broken into fractions of the following.

Core – this is the main issue of the post often I will try to post a subject about a core topic to be run through
here.

Professionals – This is where information provided by research in the very section of this posts topic(all sources will be linked with this section)

Personal – As a Transgender individual myself I have my own life experiences some good some bad and I will try to share much of what I personally experienced in my life based on the issue of the topic.

In The News – This section may or may not cover the issue of the core but will simply cover what notable news reports involving transgender people and issues around them

Comments – The only posts I will approve will be on topic ones for the core of that post. While I respect the opinions of all and want to accept most comments here I want to keep the posts on each post on topic. In the future if there is a demand for it I will expand the comments section.  If you don’t feel like commenting on this blog ether cause you feel you don’t want your post public or you wish to go off topic please contact me by email at brittanydodson@imbriaarts.com

WARNING:

The following blog contains adult oriented themes and touches on a subject not suitable for younger audiences without parental consent and guidance. It also touches on personal issues with its creator and some may find the material disturbing.

Discretion is advised.

Now on to the first topic:

Introductions / What is Transgender and how early do you see signs?

Those that may have read the original series of articles may already know this but I need to first introduce myself to the new readers.

Me in 2010

trans·gen·der

 adjective \-ˈjen-dər\

: of or relating to people who have a sexual identity that is not clearly male or clearly female

Full Definition

:  of, relating to, or being a person (as a transsexual or transvestite) who identifies with or expresses a gender identity that differs from the one which corresponds to the person's sex at birth

Medical Definition

: of, relating to, or being a person (as a transsexual or a transvestite) who identifies with or expresses a gender identity that differs from the one which corresponds to the person's sex at birth

Intro

The following story/ Strip are about very deep and close issues in my life. More so, it is covering the trials tribulations and struggles. I am writing it to educate, inform and assist others going through or know of someone going through this challenge in their lives. When I finally decided to pursue this side of me, I had hard time finding information that truly talked about the process on a one to one basis. All though the web has several stories of people going through their lives, often it is covered up in medical lingo and/or the important decisions of life are ignored as being personal. I will try to do what I can thru the posting of each new part of this sort of personal artistically put together blog and share my stories, perhaps others stories and the medical side of things as well. However, I am not a medical authority and should not be taken as one. I can only speak from life experience and from the stories sent to me. I can only state that as I write this introduction, that I too am learning about things and bring them to light the best way I know how.

The following is the official Public notice of the issue: (released online December 2008)

Okay it’s time to come clean. As I have stated in an earlier posting I had some health issues and some personal issues that I was dealing with that was causing me a delay in the release of my work and not letting me attend Conventions. Well now it’s time that I come clean. After months of planning on how to say it and even if I should I have come to the decision to just be blunt, come out, and say it? Yes, this could cost me customers, fans and even work and friends. However, this is something that if I do not become open about it will ultimately end up hurting me more emotionally and mentally in the long run.

First off, I ask that if you to bear with me but understand that this is an issue that I have struggled with for over 23 years of my life. Even though my immediate friends and family have known about it for a year now, I have not quite discussed in this out in the open that much nor as in-depth as I will in the future. Nor have I discussed how I had to make this decision in my life.

So here it is. I am transgendered. I always felt I was in the wrong body all my life and it took me looking at how my life was as I sat in the Emergency room early last October suffering from asthma and finding out how much closer to death I truly was. Over the last year, I thought about ending it. Several times in my life, I found my self-thinking of a way to kill myself. Trust me it takes a lot not to act on the impulse that I had to end it all back then. My life was stuck in a rut; I was overweight, depressed, out of work and building debt with no care for my self-being. All the while, I hid another life another side of me from myself and the world I had created in my mind. Hidden away in a box under my bed was a small collect of cloths that I would wear for time to time. It all started at the age of seven. Like many people who go through the life of being transgendered, this is when I started to notice the difference between boys and girls, and I found myself on the wrong side. I looked like a boy but inside I was a girl. When I tried to act like a girl society would push me away from my choice and tell me "No you are a boy and boys don't act like how you are acting." Therefore, I pushed it away locking my feelings, opinions and self away for how I was to be formed by the vision the world had for me. There where brief moments in my life where I would sneak a chance to feel like myself over the years but it wasn't till I was on my own that I start to really be able to explore my life but by then the damage was done. I my fury of holding my anger at what I had become inward and I continued to destroy my life through bad habits and negative thinking. Throughout this time, I was in and out of Therapy sessions and even placed on several drugs to help curb my attitude. However, what my life really called for was coming clean with who I am and who I wish to be.

Since I came clean to my friends, family and most importantly myself, I have been working on pursuing the path towards solving this issue. My first step was to get my health in line and learn to deal with the issue through therapy and with the help of friends and family. Luckily, for me I have loving friends and family that have all come to understand what I have been through and my decision is best for me. I have truly changed my life and how I act. Slowly I have over the last year been working on rebuilding my life from scratch only this time I would not ignore the person I want to be and the person I am. Although as I write this I have yet to go through any physical changes in my life (other than losing about 50 lbs. over the year) I have mainly focused on my lifestyle.

me at graduation from VCU May 2000 

Now for how this will affect my work, Other than CV taking two paths one being the continued humor strips where the old me will be replaced by the new me, and the new section called CV: Path of the Butterflies. This new section will not be for younger readers and will not just be a web comic instead, it will be more a personal transformation dairy and guide for others. The subject at times will be dark and for me deeply personal but I am ready and willing to share my life story with the world.

Cartoon me form my web-comic Critical View 

Otherwise it won't change my work I carry a sense of professionalism about my life and my choices I make yet I never have my life effect my work for both my fans and for my clients. Sure, my name will eventually change along with my looks. However, as for whom I am, that change has already occurred over the last year, I have matured and carry a professional attitude towards those who I work with making sure I get the job done at the absolute best way possible.

I write this I hope for you the reader to better understand me and what I am going thru.

In the future, I hope we can get to grow closer. If that is not the case then I am glad you gave me the time in reading this and any of my previous work and for that I thank you. For those that want to know more about this subject in my life I ask you to tune into my upcoming guide, Critical View: Path of the Butterflies. Where I will be sharing a more in-depth look at the decisions and issues that brought me to this point in my path of life and some tips, tricks, opinions and info I find along the way.

Thank you

B. T. Dodson

Photo Me and my brother (I'm the one in the red overalls) 

I wrote this in the original Path back in 2009 to reach the few friends through online and conventions that I had attended for years to learn about the issues I was going through. In the coming years I would learn more and more and see that things aren't always as clear as one can read. I first came out to my friends and family about what troubled me after years of studying and even more years of therapy. So let’s start with where my path began.

Personal (Age 7):

Like most children of the world at age seven all I cared about doing was playing and getting out of school to watch cartoons or as the eighties brought us day time game shows. I had two real friends in my life at this time outside of my family relationship. The first was my neighbor my age and a boy that shared my first name that would eventually move away. The second I don’t think my family ever met was a girl name Sarah. Sarah was my class room friend the two of us where the outcasts of the class we didn't care to play the games of others and she and I were perfectly contempt to just sit there and play in dirt or sand, we played house, and with dolls. I never would care for playing sports it wasn't that I couldn't (I actually have a undefeated trophy in soccer from that age) but I never had interest in it. But around this time I started to have a love for something different, girl’s clothing. It was around these times of playing with Sarah that I began to notice things that different my clothing and body from hers. I was wearing stripped collared shirts of the day and stuck in my uncomfortable corduroy pants, while she began to wear dress and skirts. She wasn't a beautiful girl by the class standards she was the plain looking girl with braids and thick glasses that kept shy about the time. But my play times with her weren't the only time I felt this way. Often I would go shopping with my mother at the local mall I would find my chance to hide away and feel at the clothing imaging the day that I finally could wear it myself. A time that I had to repress and it wasn't easy, I was adopted in my family and not but a few years later my mom and dad divorced and with it came family therapy. But the time in there and at school had the over eager staff to label me ADHD (All current signs and testing prove that I am not these days) Which had me in a therapist chair at the time of this issue and the frustration of me having to repress myself and my dreams caused anger, anxiety, depression and stress on the body of a young elementary school boy. Issues so suppressed I wouldn't confront them till long after damage would take years to fix. It wouldn't be till I was 27 till I reached that point of where my life had to change to match myself discovery of 7 years old

Professional Look:

Okay let’s being. Science has noted as did we in the last chapter that there are a few given signs to a person being transgender. The most notable ones being Depression and thoughts of suicide, these of course are final signs of transgender people as stated before as those that ignore these two signs will often just end up as a suicide statistic then another transgender. There are a couple of other signs but often they are dismissed as the subject acting odd or even placed into other types of mental disorders that the person may or may not have.

These early signs of Transgender subjects

01 Displacement from conformity in play with others of the same sex

02 Displacement of self from social activity

03 Anger issues

04 Tendency to start fights

05 A low tolerance to name calling

06 Emotionally Unbalanced behaviors

In these signs the child is identifying those that they more come to socially fit in with. If they are rejected they tend to go on their own and slip into an early stage of regression of themselves. The regression since the child hasn't fully developed its abilities to fully adapt turn to be let turned into acts or rage or sadness. Often these acts are brought out when confronted by the issue by peers. Note this is an ongoing study and is difficult for a case study based on the rarity of cases and it’s still currently an unknown as to causes.  

Most of these signs develop around ages 2 - 9 in children mainly when they begin to notice the difference in male and females.

Those Awkward Years 7 - 15

                As we further develop into adults the child begins to display other signs some more visible maybe even verbal, but its also when if the early signs are missed and it truly is a case of the child being transgender it will lead on to even further regression of ones self image.

                By the time I hit 7 I knew I wasn’t meant to be a boy. I would sneak in and try on my mothers cloths, I even tried some makeup at a day care I stayed after school (all be I did get in trouble when the caretakers found I got in her purse and smeared lipstick on me). But worse yet I started to seriously get bullied, my parents took it as the bullies picked on me to get me to react (something my therapist at the time also held to his heart) when in actually I knew exactly what it was that had me as their target. It was the fact that even though I looked like a boy I sure as hell didn’t act like one so they where determined by the course of nature to prove that I was no threat to them by picking on me. I had let the issue dig deep inside me so much that it let me have moments of black outs in a fight where I would fight back wildly, this worked a few times (all the way up till I was 14) but twice I learned it just had me fight wreck less and ignore what pain I myself took. The first time was when I was 7 and a bully I fought with hit me with a sanded down 2x4 to the head causing me to go in for stitches in my ear. The second time was my last real fight where a game of street baseball with all the neighborhood had turned into a fist fight with me and a teenager that was almost 17, I lost a tooth in that fight but it took me a good 20 minutes to even realize it was knocked out. Meanwhile my family trips to head shrinks where a common thing. Each time they tried to find me out. They conducted tests and would try to place me in places telling me how I should be. But I wouldn’t listen.

 Professional Look:

The next set of signs as I stated before my life view point are a fork in the road. Ether the child comes out and admits it or like my own life regresses it further. Thus this time we have two sections.

Those that come clean at childhood

01 Dress up in other genders cloths - in secret or in the open

02 admitting the issue to themselves and others

03 Still bullied, yet with outlets the issue can be dealt with in therapy or worked out with family

04 Depression can still begin yet can be channeled

05 Self Inflicted Body Abuse may begin

Those that regress further

01 Dress up in other genders cloths - In secret

02 admitting the issue to themselves then hiding it from others

03 Still bullied, Fights and emotional fits can become greater

04 Depression begins and may go unnoticed

05 Drug problems can begin

06 Suicidal thoughts can emerge

07 Body abuse may begin

08 Becomes a Shut in 

In both cases depression can still come out as well as body abuse such as “Cutting” or even violent acts at one self. Bullies will remain pretty much till high school as nature tries to stamp out the oddity in the room. The more noted difference is the open person will talk about the issue bothering them and may even try to fit in the role they wish to play by getting or asking for cloths that match who they feel they are. Where the regressed person will get or try on the cloths completely in secret, bringing the concept of shame and anger towards oneself for who they are which in turn leads to greater issues.

  

       By the time the child hit’s the teenage / high school years they have ether been working to deal with the issue or they haven’t and its been eating away at them. By this point the last of the signs take route as Puberty starts to take over. In this phase there are both small and very large signs to the issue it just matters on which side of the coin they are on. The side that’s open about the issue or the side that’s regressing it.

Teenage Wasteland

           

                By the time I hit high school I had begun to fully regress myself from the world. I did take part in helping out in the high school plays doing stage craft mostly, a job where I couldn’t be seen and thus no one would notice me. Suicide had become a weekly thought in my head and even though I was not skilled with a razor I used it to shave off any body hair I could with my unskilled hand. My parents kept talking me out of letting me even grow out my own hair, but then they couldn’t understand why a boy would want long hair (odd from people that saw the 1960’s but hey) I had no interest in girls or even sex at this stage of my life, the only sex I cared about was my own. But I will admit I was curious and since I was a tall and older looking then I was I got my hands on some porno magazines to get a better look at what I couldn’t see even in my sex ED class. I only went out to my prom on a whim and hastily went with a close high school friend. My prom did show a bit of my girly style as I was the only boy at the prom to be a decent dancer and to have a tux that while it looked good on me also had me stick out like a sore thumb. But it didn’t matter. These years most of my fights and anger issues were not at school any more, they where in the home. All I wanted was a way out. Out my home, out of my school, out of my sex or even out of my own life. I began to over eat when I got upset, I also would get health problems caused by the mental stress I was going through. I began to not care what happened to me. I began to fade away from my own life.

Professional Look:

The final stages that show in a transgender child are once again split in the two earlier forks only this time they are far more different then before.

Those that come clean

01 A feeling of not being able to fit in

02 Open display of wearing other sexes cloths

03 Personal name change

04 Stress of typical teenager, I.e. romance, school work, Work

05 Seeking of medical help

06 Regressing Puberty (by medical blockers)

07 Engaging opposing Puberty (by means of Hormones)

08 Greater Social activity then in earlier childhood

09 Self Mutilation

10 Depression (still possible but less sever)

Those that regress

01 Fighting Puberty

02 Still hiding wearing opposite sexes clothing

03 Depression

04 Thoughts and acts of suicide

05 Drug Abuse

06 Self Mutilation

07 Lack of interest Social events

08 Lack of interest in a partner

09 Greater aggression in the Home

10 Lack of focus on school or work

11 Lack of goals for future

12 Possible Reverse change (M-F transgender may try to be the role model of a male, vice versa for F-M)

13 Criminal Activity

Most of the issues for the child that becomes open are more positive routes to help them deal with the issue, even though some things can still linger that might cause some depression its less likely to be as sever as it is for the one regressing the issue.  Issues the regressed child has that may be key signs are such as fighting puberty. In my own way I fought my voice change which in a way did make my adult voice a bit pitchy. Depression is now a pretty much solid case now for the regressed child and along with it suicide thoughts and actions. The less noticed signs for regressed is the total lack of interest in most social events and people they can become part of. They may be able to scrape together a few friends and hide away in a social activity that takes a lot of people. Also they might try to be the role model of their birth sex, this means a male to female might grow facial hair and act super macho, or a Female to male might grow her hair long and wear dresses to try and hide who they are for their own safety, keep in mind its done purely as a defensive action cause by now they have had years of bullying to cause them to go into hiding in plain sight.

Those cover the possible signs there are as I can call it. So now that we better understand some signs of being transgender lets look at resources that are a good place to go to. In most books you would have to go looking into suggested sites in the bibliography but since this isn’t your average book we will be placing this in here. I will try and keep them separate as to help make things clear to all . I will cover some good and some bad. Giving you the reasons to check out each but also warning you on each. 

George Town report on the subject

http://nccc.georgetown.edu/documents/LGBT_Brief.pdf

National Women’s Health Network Article on the subject

http://nwhn.org/transgender-youth-providing-medical-treatment-misunderstood-population

Gazette article on the subject:

http://gazette.com/article/151590

Acdima Research Article on the subject

http://www.academia.edu/2760086/Transgender_Children_More_than_a_Theoretical_Challenge_2012_updated_version_

Personal Last words:

Since coming out about this information much of my life has changed, much of the depression in my life is gone along with much of the anxiety as I began to become the person I always felt I should be. My anger is quelled for the most part to match normal standards and while I still get stressed I am both better equipped to handle it and find ways out of my situation.  These days I live full time on my own working on several tasks and freelancing on the side of working part time to help pay the bills. I may not be close to where I dreamed I was so long ago but now days I am much happier and willing to head down the road of being a productive member of society. And sharing the advice I can give is just one more step on the path.

Left: Me in 2007 4 months before I came out Right: Me March 2013 

In the News:

Katie Couric lands in hot water over wording on her show to Transgender guests

http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/15/living/transgender-identity/index.html?hpt=hp_c3

Okay this has been pretty much the hot button issue so far of the New Year with transgender people in a future post I will cover it more in depth but at this time I will just say that what you call someone is based on a one on one interaction. When you go on television shows expect to get some what offended or treated not in every way you would like because the shows live for conflict its ratings gold to them. I feel this is less worthy of the attention it’s been getting and say it’s a non-story in itself. Move along here people there are worse things to get upset about.  

Okay thank you for reading this article and please I ask leave a comment below on the subject of the matter which is, Introduction: What is Transgender, and how early do signs appear? Share your own stories or articles. If you want to keep your opinion from public view or you just want to share news articles, say hi or curse me out email me at brittanydodson@imbriaarts.com

Next Posts issue will be “Is begin Transgender something new? When did this whole thing start?”

See you next time and weather your trans or not keep walking the Path to begin a better person!