What does it mean to be?

First off let me apologize to the readers for the late post this month I had alternate plans for this months discussion and those plans fell through and now I have been busy playing catch up with this and several other projects for more on that look at my weekly blog Brittany’s Desk.

Okay on to the subject.

The subject this time around is what is medically a Trangender person? How do you, someone you know they are transgender. The issue here I briefly touched on the first post of this blog but I walked around the issue for those truly asking as to how and why someone would identify this way. Before going further I have to do the usual notice. I am NOT A MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL, I am a writer and artist and am writing this blog through hours to years of research personal experiences and more, do not take my word as such for your own safety. This blog is a tool to aid you in your journey not direct it. Please seek a medical profession for more advice and please do your own research. If you want to discuss the issue at hand you can comment below or email me at brittanydodson@imbriaarts.com, Thank you 

When one looks scientifically at the issue at hand you have to understand that no science is 100% known. To this day science still doesn’t understand many things in our common everyday lives and mysteries of the human body and genetics still tend to puzzle us.  But that being said the study of transgender people as I noted in the second official posting started in the late 19^th century and continues to this day. So the over 100 years of scientific study has resulted in a solid ground work that the issue does exist in a medical term and is not a clear case of mental disease as it was labeled till last year. Now keep in mind other formerly labeled mental diseases where including Seizures, Left Handedness, Homosexuality, and that’s not going over the current issues now involved in trying to diagnose some actual treatable diseases as a mental disorder. http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/turning-straw-gold/201212/physical-illnesses-may-soon-be-labeled-mental-disorders  

So often now days even though the issue has been changed of late people still refer to Transgenderism as a mental disorder. Yet science of late has more proven it to be a genetic one. In many cases of transgender study they have discovered chemical makeup and genetic makeup in many cases to result in a sway in our bodies development as we mature. Yet even if a person is genetically the opposite of what they are physically, that does not mean their transgender. So don’t get your self tested and jump straight in to a whole new life.

No, in fact these days we are seeing a flow of transgender cases increase yet many are self-diagnosis cases that don’t truly understand what it means. And often they place themselves on a path they aren’t too clear of what lies ahead of them. Sadly we live in a time of self-prognosis with constant drug ads filling our lives pushing us into thinking we would be better off with the drug for a disease we heard about on tv or in the news. Sadly life can’t not be fixed with a pill, the sooner you learn this the better. True cases of transgender people drum down to these things.

1. How long have you felt this way?
2. Can you see yourself living a normal life without preceding this path?
3. If not how does that make you feel?
4. Are you clinically depressed?
5. Are you suicidal?

These are serious questions you need to focus on. Most clear cases of transgender people are suicidal and have even tried it. Sadly this is the #1 defining issue. But at the same time Suicidal thoughts and tendencies is not the solid case for being transgender. No that is where questions 1-3 come into play. Transgender individuals, true cases involve a long history of this issue weighing on their lives. While there are several cases of children identifying as trans, the issue isn’t easy to lock in on a child till years of maturity hit them. Often to see how things go some doctors will offer blockers to keep the child from going through puberty while they are conflicted in their thoughts.

 Mind you this is a highly risky venture and should be well understood as the medications of blockers (mainly the #1 perscribed spironolactone for Transwomen) is a “high” dosage prostate cancer fighting medication. That is known to cause many things including many effects similar to a heart attack and kidney disease thus has to be treated under a doctor’s care.  Placing the strain of this on a developing child’s body could have stronger effects of harm and may cause physical issues down the line. That is not including the side effects of Testosterone on Transmen at a young age. As a medically induced steroid it’s very easy to show the side effects of that medication taken out of supervision without having to look at transgender cases.

When one is properly diagnosis its best they work on keeping their body in good shape to lower the risks of the medications side effects when they eventually get on it. It’s not an easy task. It’s a long and painful road to go through being trans the pain is mental, physical and even social. Every now and then you hear of a case of an Ex trans person appear. These case usually can be classified in several ways.  

1.      Going with the in crowd

2.       Seeking a new sexual high

3.       Past scars

4.       Creating a spotlight

5.       Genuine self-doubt

6.       Mentally poisoning

Let me explain each of these. The first is the most common on found today. Transgender is becoming the social in thing right now. A way to rebel against one’s life ending up not down a path one hopes for and a way some see as a way out is by building a crutch for their pain. This is nothing new in many cases of the past the idea of doing something society sees as shocking to stand out when you refuse to fit in is all too clear of each and every generation of person. Sadly this group however moves to take risky behavior to resolve these feelings and seek things like back alley drugs to help transition causing them possible medical issues and higher risk behavior for other things Such as sexual disease harder drugs and worse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nw3K2L5XrW4 A former trans-person that turned back with a warning for the “In crowd” Type

Second is the oldest case of false identifiers for transgender. People who for some reason or another that found themselves ether wanting to go down this path because they wanted a sexual high or had issues sexually and felt it was a better way to go on enjoying sex.

Third is the harder to deal with issue. Sadly it comes down to trying to deal with past sexual abuse and accepting the pain of the abuse as a reason to transition to make one feel better for the reasons why they were abused. In my discussions and meetings with many people in my life I personally can say one in 10 cases of transgender identifying people I have come across claim that the reason they transition is due to former sexual abuse they underwent as a child.

Forth is a rare case but not unheard of in this day and age. The idea that somehow becoming transgender will lead you down a life of luxury and fandom, there is little I can say other than anyone who seeks to change their genders for fame, needs to get their head examined thoroughly. Going through this life is not a whim spur of the moment thing and the further you go down the road the more it costs and the more isolation you will experience. While there are some that have become famous being trans the numbers are so low its below 1% of the transgender population vs the 5+ % in normal society.

Fifth is a serious case. Sometimes people do change and they may genuinely think one thing of them in their lives for years and be actually convincing of it but then something in their life changes and they begin to doubt their decisions.

Finally is the Mental poisoning. This is by far the most dangerous type. The quote cured transgender people through ether “faith” based programs or others like it. These programs often try to convince the person they are wrong and often do more psychological damage to the person in horrible ways. Note I am not saying faith is the problem in fact in some cases people who turn to faith may in fact find clear answers to their doubt but there are dangers in these groups.

Here is a interview with famed British Actor Stephen Fry and an ex-gay therapist https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnBBqYFGKB8

The ways to understand things comes down to long sessions (often years of such) of therapy from a professional. Personally I spent 4 years in therapy alone on the course before I got the green light to seek the medical end of things. While often most cases should take less. (Mine took more because I kept getting pushed on the fresh out of college interns as a case study) In general at least a year of therapy is not unheard of. As transgender cases often tend to have compacting social and mental issues around them. Issues like Agoraphobia and anxiety disorder can arise and also need to be dealt with to help live a semi normal life. So to go through this process a few years ago I devised a list of questions for therapy that need to be asked in the cases of being transgender.

The issues one must ask both themselves and a medical help professional and likewise questions they should ask you  (The questions for the therapist to ask in red the ones for you to ask your therapist in blue)

What is your first memory of what gender means?

Does stating this mean I’m prone to mental disorders and possible clinically insane?

If you knew you never could get surgery, how would that make you feel?

What should my first steps be?

If you knew you never could get medicine to alter the body, trapping you in the form you have now, how would you feel?

What are the risks I can look towards if I start (medication, surgery)?

How do you think you would act if someone discriminated you for who you where?

I came out to my (Family, Friends, Lover, Children), yet they are having trouble with my decision, is there a way you or someone you know can help us work through this together?

How do you think you would act if someone threatened violence for who you where?

I want to come out to my (Family, Friends, Lover, Children) how do I best go about doing this?

How would you act if an act of violence is being directed at you? What steps would you take to prevent it? 

Is it normal to have these feelings?

What does it mean to be your chosen gender?

Do you have knowledge of where I could seek medical help on this issue? And if so would you be willing to offer your approval for me to seek it out?

Have you tried disguising this with your friends or family?

Do you have former knowledge or experience in dealing with this issue?

If someone close to you doesn’t accept it, how would it make you feel?

How long will I have to be treated for this issue in my life?

What would you tell a person who chooses not to accept you? How would you react if things worsen after your first action?

Do you find that I have other issues as well not tied to this or do you think that this issue will help deal with all my issues?

Are you prepared to face the aftermath that this issue will bring in your (Family, Freind, Work, Social) environment?

Am I too (old, young, Masculine, Feminine) to go through with this?

Did you face bullying and/or name calling that fits derogatory terms towards being transgender as a child?

I’m worried that if I come out at work I’ll be (discriminated, fired, assaulted) is this a logical fear?

Did you try to hide this from yourself? If so, how long, and why?

If I go through with this and find its not who I am was it all just a mistake?

Are there parts of you, that you think will prevent you from passing as the other gender?

Will I learn to love myself if I (Go through with it, don’t go through with it)?

How does this affect your love life?

Do I have a hope for finding love if I go through with this?

Are you aware of the risks of (Hormones, Surgery) if you chose to go through with this?

 How much is all this going to cost me if I proceed?

Will this truly make you feel better about yourself?

Is there hope for me going down this path at feeling better for myself?

But therapy is only one step. Mostly it comes down to self-identification or 1 on the lists of questions that a professional will ask you when you discuss this issue.

Ultimately one needs to come from this blog post to understand that going down this life is ultimately your choice but it’s not going to be an easy path for you down the line. You’re going to be painting a target on your back when you go down this path facing a life of persecution and rejection for just being who you are. Don’t believe me check out the part of this 20/20 interview with young 11 year old transgender Jazz and the confrontation she gets in her life.  

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/video/transgender-11-listening-jazz-18260857

Personal Note:

In my personal account of the very issue I will be brief and direct you to read my post in chapters 2 &7 of the old Path site http://www.imbriaarts.com/path/

But I will share a story I didn’t share before. One that even my family didn’t know and maybe still don’t. Back when I left college and got out of my parents’ home to live on my own I start to explore the side of me that I had no clear idea about I hadn’t studied it nor have I focused on it. In fact I failed the college sex ed course I took that only spent ½ a day on it as a subject and the book which I ironically still own. Barely touches on the subject at all. Yet I was hiding myself from the world at the time. (this part many of you that have followed me all this time and family know) What they don’t know is the self-mutilation I did. I was greatly depressed about the issue and badly wanted a part of me gone so often on long lonely days I would go to my kitchen and pick up a knife and cut the skin along the legs towards my private area. I never went too deep knowing enough about human anatomy that cutting the femoral artery would likely mean certain death. But I have cut enough to leave marks across the inner portions of my thighs that don’t heal right and sometimes in the heat of sweaty summer will tear open just enough due to the low amount of skin built around it that they slowly bleed. Thankfully I stopped listening to the depression in my life and listened to reason and hope to find a safer and open way of changing my life. But it would still take me 7 years and several suicide attempts and threats to reach the point of help and courage to come forth on who I am.  Since then I have become a changed person. While depression still hits my life it’s never gets so low as to bring harm to myself in any way. I have learned more about myself opened up more to the world and become a better person through being the person I see myself as. Now with the blessing of medical professional at my side I am able to show more of that side of me to the world. To become a better me on both the outside and inside and to live a life I want to live.

So what is the medical meaning of being transgender?

It’s the goal of giving yourself a strong footing on the road to finding yourself no matter how you see yourself for a sense of mental security and peace of mind. It is a genetic or chemical imbalance in the body of the person across their physical identity from their spiritual, mental and emotional identity.

Article resources:

http://www.pfc.org.uk/node/614 - Medical Study Jan. 1996 U.K.  -  Based on the basic general study of transgender in medical terms

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=how-boys-become-boys-and - How Boys become Boys and sometimes Girls (Scientific American May 2008)

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article.cfm?id=going-beyond-x-and-y - Going Beyond X and Y (Scientific American June 2007)

http://isites.harvard.edu/icb/icb.do?keyword=k78405&pageid=icb.page414493 – Harvard Study on identification of transgenders

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/publications/publications-a-z/731-i-think-i-might-be-transgender-now-what-do-i-do - actual Q&A by medical professional on the subject.

HOMEWORK:

So how did you do with last month’s homework? Yeah well some share with me in email brittanydodson@imbriaarts.com others just read the blog and move on. This week the assignment is an old one I learned and I want to have others do more often.

You do a chart for both living your life as is and one for changing your life that way you want it to be. You give yourself 20 minutes to do this no more, no less in the end count them and see where you stand.

Next Month’s subject:

Names What are they good for?

I will be discussing both choosing a new name and how naming yourself comes about and how to legally do it.

Trans in the News:

Speaking of Names the big issue going on right now in the transworld this month is…

India Recognizes Transgenders

You would think of all the nations in the world that in the past where not very trans friendly many would pass on India. You know the country where many of its people worship a transgender goddess. But hey they do or did up until recently where it is now a recognized group in the country yeah India

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-27031180